In my recent post, I talked about how I decided to go ahead with terminating my scholarship, and it looked like I alone was responsible for the decision. The reality is it wouldn’t have been possible if not for my family, loved ones, and friends. Specifically, I had 3 friends who were able to provide me with the necessary financial support to allow me to push through with my decision. Would I have gone ahead if it wasn’t for them?

Probably, but it would have been a lot harder to make that decision, and I know for a fact that I will probably end up taking a loan from some bank somewhere, and be in a much worse off position today. I’m glad to have them by my side during those times. Thank you, you know who you are :).

On a side note, many things have happened since then and I’m not as close to some of them as I once was, but that’s just how life is.

Why am I writing this? Because increasingly I find that a lot of the people surrounding me are pushing their expectations on how they think things should be onto others. I know some of them mean well, and I definitely am guilty of projecting my expectations onto others as well.

The friend who keeps going on and on about how he’s running his own successful business, about how he has the courage to take that step to quit his job. Chances are, he had a lot of support when he made the decision. Perhaps he has a lot of savings, perhaps he had 10 failed businesses before this that allowed him to learn, perhaps he was plain lucky (we often don’t give credit to luck), perhaps his partner, or family, or friends were able to tide him through while he’s getting his business up and running. Does he mention any of that when sharing his experience with you?<

How about the friend who tells you how you should take up an overseas opportunity and grab the chance to work elsewhere? On how you’re missing out on what’s “out there”. That you should not let your family, friends or relationship hold you back. Does he have an old family member who’s not in good health? Does he have the same beliefs as you when it comes to friends and relationships?

The list goes on. All of them are of course correct, in their opinion with their set of circumstances. Circumstances that are likely, very different from yours.

So the next time you decide to accuse someone of not living up to your expectations, ask yourself if you are in the same situation as him. Ask yourself if you have the same beliefs as him.

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